Well, the smoking saga... It only lasted a week this time. Started on a Tuesday and ended on the following tuesday. So I am back to smoking since the past 3 days. 2 on Tuesday, 4 on Wednesday and so far 2 today (I think I will do 2 more today).
But here we go again... That's it. No more. Tonight I am going for a religious visit and intend to ask for the blessings of the great one to help me quit for good. But, afraid though... Afraid because if I beg for His forgiveness for doing it in the first place... and then ask for the strength to quit again. Well, I believe for sure that the blessings will be there, they are always there... but what if I do end up going back... Then it is like dis-respecting the holy one.
Isn't that really so very twisted. I mean... donno what I mean. It's just one thing for certain. That is I have to quit doing this to myself. Am killing myself.. more mentally torturing over an issue that doesn't even need a mention. But what can I do, what to do.. what to do...
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