Today is the second day.

Ok, so I am not saying it worked out front... because, well... after that blog it kind of worked over the weekend, then came monday... work day... and I did. So did Tuesday. Then put breaks on Wed... and today is Thurs. So, it is starting... admittedly on and off... but will surely do it no matter what.

I had heard once someone say something like.... When we say it is not complete until it is complete it goes without saying that you have not failed until you have failed (stopped trying)... I still am trying.

Anyhow, may be I should start looking for other stuff to write over here...

Smoking contines...

It has been 2 weeks since my last blog, and the smoking continues. Again the same promise to myself... today will be the last day. Again am planning on going to the religious place of worship tonight, and will surely ask the lord to bless me with the courage and strength to stop this madness once and for all.

.......... Hopefully and with a lot of hope.. just hope, not a commitment which is sad, but anyhow.. with lots of hope when I blog the next time wish I would say with a cheering gesture.. that it worked!! and I quit smoking since so many days.... weeks..... years..... decades...... lifetime....


Hope!

Ok.. so, it only lasted a week. What next..

Well, the smoking saga... It only lasted a week this time. Started on a Tuesday and ended on the following tuesday. So I am back to smoking since the past 3 days. 2 on Tuesday, 4 on Wednesday and so far 2 today (I think I will do 2 more today).

But here we go again... That's it. No more. Tonight I am going for a religious visit and intend to ask for the blessings of the great one to help me quit for good. But, afraid though... Afraid because if I beg for His forgiveness for doing it in the first place... and then ask for the strength to quit again. Well, I believe for sure that the blessings will be there, they are always there... but what if I do end up going back... Then it is like dis-respecting the holy one.

Isn't that really so very twisted. I mean... donno what I mean. It's just one thing for certain. That is I have to quit doing this to myself. Am killing myself.. more mentally torturing over an issue that doesn't even need a mention. But what can I do, what to do.. what to do...

The Quit Smoking saga continues.

So, the last post as I was reading a minute back was my previous attempt to quit smoking. Well, here is how it worked out.. I did do fairly well that time. I went for a total of 34 days without smoking then. And then went back... missed my steps. Well, here is kind of the analysis of that.. It was a friday, and I was off smoking for 34 days. There was a lunch outing at the office, and I was sitting with a few of my colleagues... unfortunately the place where we were sitting also happens to be the designated smoking area. And we watched someone smoke, and happened to strike a conversation about smoking.. I distinctly remember admitting to others that I USED TO smoke, and have quit. Feeling very proud and happy about the whole thing. Also was sharing my thoughts saying "It's one of the bad things I would not wish for even the worst of my enemies". The next day was Saturday, and there was kind of a small argument at home.
That's it, the stage was all set... Feeling over confident that I did quit, and a reason to enjoy one (only one) reason being...... well there was really no reason, call it self pity.. call it over confidence.. call it what ever. I did go to the nearby store, bought a pack and lighted one. That's all that was required. Next day.. Sunday it was 2. Third day... there was no stopping, for it was Monday and I had to be at my best at the office.. can't afford to loose doing office work. Hectic work... what ever. 4 that day.. and on and on. One reason behind the other.. it continued. In between here and there I did manage to quit for a day once and for 2 days on another occasion. But that's it.

Now here is the next attempt. The last time I did was on Tuesday and today is Monday. Again, the hardest day was day 2 that was Thursday. In fact, on Thursday... I did take my car keys and started heading towards the store to buy the smokes.. but somehow managed to stop myself.

Ah.. one more point to note though. This time, here was kind of the motivator. I had visited Steve Pavlina's website on Tuesday... and listened to couple of his audio podcast entries. One particular one that kind of wanted to try out was "StevePavlina.com Podcast #005 - Beliefs". In this one he kind of talks about working on one's beliefs to bring out positive results... Well, skeptical at first... kind of told myself that I believe that I can and will do this. Quit smoking... and held (holding) on to the thought that "I intend to quit smoking for good"... Seems to be working so far. Here guess am supposed to be summonning the help of the universe to re-arrange things around and situations around that would make things happen the way I intend them to. And the skepticism can be seen in the way I say that.. that is "SUPPOSED TO"... well... anyhow....

Guess will try to update you guys in a few days. Till then, wish me the very best of luck.