Motivation, or lack of it..

The last smoke was on Sept 2nd, 2009.. and that's that. Moving on now.

I thing that defiantly is affecting life is the lack of motivation to do anything. Not wanting to do pretty much anything. It is to the n-th extent.. that is not even wanting to lay back and relax, because it seems like I am incapable of relaxing. Hope things are going to get better as time passes.

So far to help with that I have been trying the following.
1. Trying to meditate.
2. Doing daily walks, at least weekdays for about 1.5 mile around the block.

 Feel like I need a break, need a break from life all together. Just want to be able to take off to a pristine place and forget the rest of the world. But not sure if it is a possibility or just a dream.


Looking to learn on meditation, read on the web some. There stumbled accross these so called tutor organizations who charge a heafty money to teach their personal way to meditate tecniques. Surely does not justify what I personally am looking for in a teacher.. who seems more after money and fame than provide good guidance. Then someone suggested an organization under Yogananda paramahansa. Called one of their centers and received a call back in return. Am supposed to go to their website and send them around 10 bucks for which they will send some material which would help in the practice. Also one more name popped up Nityananda paramahansa. Watched some of his you tube video.. Seems interesting and genuine... and helps in personal journey.